So...

...it's been quite some time since I've actually posted something on here. Honestly, a small part of me doesn't even see the point of posting things half the time...but I do know some of my friends (who I only can contact on here) do actually want to see my art and the progress I've made with it. I enjoy it all too. So there is that. -sighs- I'm just lost anymore. I started working, fell in love, started therapy, and found myself cornered into a harsh and dark place. The person I loved didn't understand me, even when I was openly honest. My work started wracking my anxiety to high levels. My therapy...well it's helping on some levels. Some days I wish that my therapist would deem me needing to be locked in an asylum. I'm already spiraling. I've stopped trying to be honest with people. The one person I wanted to be honest with...they hurt me...and then blamed me...so I gave them reasons to blame me. Better for them to be pissed at me than hurting cuz of me...right? Fuck if I know. I locked my heart away after that last fight. I'm tired of always being the bad guy. Love, family, life...I'm always to blame. So I just stopped being honest. I'll go back to wearing my mask. Even if it suffocates me. Many of you won't really understand what's going on...and that's okay...

...I'm not a bad person...I'm just...not that good at being what people want either...

Sorry for the long sob story of a journal. I just needed to get this off my chest.

Have a good night. Hopefully.

~Marko~